It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
