so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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