Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
