omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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