he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
