It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
