is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
please don't ironically join a cult
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