I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
