she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Randomize
