Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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