that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
