And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
