sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
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I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
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Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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