I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Randomize
