Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
