been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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