Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I have aggressive nipples.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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