Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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