I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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