The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
