how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
