"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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