Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
