was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Farmville is her only friend.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
