Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
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My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
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How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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