I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
