well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
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I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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