you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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