In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
do herpes really smell.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Randomize
