don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
