so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
