I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I'm sobbing to NWA
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
