I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
