Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
