why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
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