There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
