just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
