I am in a vortex of obligation.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
