shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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