This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize