porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
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