so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
