Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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