Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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