Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
