Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
