We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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