Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
