That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
