he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
