She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Randomize
