It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
