What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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