we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
