I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
