I'd wear matching sweaters with you
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize