No stitches, just platelets and will power
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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