i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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