wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
