I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
