i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
