Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
