he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
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