Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
She told me I should be a condom model.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
