I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
