if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Randomize
