You're my little dorito
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
